Blog Storm

An essay on The Importance of Patient/Doctor Communication. I believe the subject was first broached by that great Roman philosopher Tedius Maximus. I mean, I’d hate to blow my own horn, but I really have to applaud and appreciate my own genes/education/upbringing for my talent of being able to make bullshit sound like Hamlet. It was only 500 words, but it was basically the sentence “Patient/doctor communication is integral to the optimisation of health care efficiency” repeated over and over again using various synonyms and grammatical variations. Full marks.

Huzzah for the English language.

1. Poetry or prose? Prose, by and large, but not exclusively.
2. Funky modern art or the older, “classic” variety? What a quaintly reductionist question.
3. Sculptures or paintings? Definitely paintings. They require talent. I can make a sculpture but I can hardly draw a straight line.
4. Theatre: exuberant musical or serious drama? Drama. Most musicals strike me as wankish escapism.
5. Ballet or modern dance? I’m not a dance fan, but I’d have to say ballet if I had to pick between the two.
6. Movies: major studio or indie? Depends on the quality of the movie, rather than any loose genre. There are some great Hollywood movies, and there are some completely shite independant films.
7. Authors: Shakespeare or Dr. Seuss? Shakespeare, although there’s no doubting the role Zeuss has had on 20th century literature. “Green Eggs and Ham” and “Hop on Pop” remain modern classics.
8. TV: PBS or A&E? I see…
9. Music: Beethoven or Beatles? Beatles, even though their early stuff was pretty childish, the White Album is untouchable. Beethoven has nothing on Bach.
10. Thought-provoking question of the week: You are a contributing member of your favorite art museum, and visit on a regular basis. They announce a new, temporary special exhibit by an artist surrounded by controversy…this person’s work and/or political views offend you. Do you stop supporting the museum, or just stay away during the time the exhibit is there? I wouldn’t be offended in the first place, so the rest of the question is moot. People can believe whatever they want, and expressing themselves and their motivations through art isn’t necessarily going to have an effect on me. I like to see both sides of every issue, so I’d probably go and see the exhibit anyway, whether I agreed with it’s principles or not, and I think that if more people had such an attitude then there’d be a lot less bigotry and bullshit in the world. *shrug* I may be wrong.

Intellectual and political impotence and ignorance disguised as moral protest. How constructive. Do they realise that there are more efficient ways of prostituting your own self-respect in order to try getting your 15 minutes of fame? Such as Reality Television? Anyway, onto more important matters…

Shock & Awe

No, I’m not talking about Baghdad or cruise missiles or anything along those lines. I’m talking about something important. The way in which Australia completely and utterly blew India off the park at the World Cup Cricket final in Johannesburg. I mean, seriously, at the risk of sounding narcissistic, how fucking good is Australia at sport? In case you’re not really familiar with cricket, it is by no means an international one-horse race. It’s not like rugby league where Australia is so untouchable that the other team might as well not show up. And to go through the tournament undefeated (that’s 12 games, not including the 5 games previous to that, making for a grand total of 17-straight wins and counting, the record by 6), go into the final and get 359 runs in the first innings (for the uninitiated, that’s a LOT, the highest ever in a World Cup final) against the team who, apart from their defeat at our hands in the first round by 9 wickets, were also undefeated in the tournament, is an amazing feat. Oh, and in case you’re not familiar with how fanatically cricket is followed in India, I think this will give you some idea. All I can do is chuckle.

There must be a dust storm moving through. I was wondering why it was so damn glary when I went outside this morning. I can almost close my eyes and pretend I’m living in LA, except that dust is far more preferable to smog. Hopefully the forecast rain this afternoon will get rid of it quickly.

Nope, nothing to rant about today. I think it all speaks for itself, and it’s far too easy to become morose. Oh, and if someone can help me out regarding smilies on this site, I’d appreciate it.

I’ve suspected from day 1 that America would go in and clean up Bush Snr’s mess, with or without the UN. The question remains why America even needs other countries to help it at all. Surely people see that it’s just a ruse to make it look like a “good vs evil crusade” rather than an aggressive American military operation. Why is Australia really supplying troops to the Middle East? Three words: Free. Trade. Agreement. In reality, America would never give a shit about France, Germany and Russia’s stance, they’ve just been castigated to look like weak, spineless pariahs and further influence American public opinion by making the “Coalition of the Willing” appear more noble and pragmatic by comparison. I swear if I see another news report showing some moronic, loudmouth Yanks pouring French wine into the gutter I’m going to stave in the tv screen with a cricket bat. Yes, the Allies liberated France in WW2. So fucking what? The US didn’t even join the Allies until 18 months after the French surrendered. If you’re going to use history to justify your self-righteousness and bigotry, what about the vital French aid against the English during the American War of Independence?

1. first grade teacher - Mrs Newbery
2. last word you said - “Crisitunity!” (The Simpsons is on)
3. last song you sang - Umm, you know that “If I Had Words” song from Babe? Shut up, it’s cool
4. last person you hugged - Probably my mother
5. last thing you laughed at - See 2
6. last time you said ‘I love you’ - Last week. I was drunk at the time, however. That’s my official position anyway
7. last time you cried - My mother was using “Deep Heat” last night, which can irritate my eyes. Does that count?
8. what’s in your CD player - Probably Dark Side Of The Moon
9. what colour of socks are you wearing - Blue football socks
10. what’s under your bed - No space under there
11. what time did you wake up today - 8 or 9
12. current taste - Water
13. current hair - Thick and scruffy
14. current clothes - Man Utd shirt, board shorts, football socks and soccer boots (soccer practice). Should take the boots off, actually…
15. current annoyance - People who can’t tackle properly
16. current longing - A brand spanking new notebook computer I’m planning on receiving for my birthday
17. current desktop picture - I switched back to boring old Windows 98 “Circles” just today. Boring, no?
18. current worry - This stupid, pointless Uni essay due next week
19. current hate - Hate? Posh. I love all of God’s creatures
20. story behind your domain - The other one “Electric Ladyland” is a reference to Hendrix’ best album, of course. This one is fairly self-explanatory, I feel
21. current favourite article of clothing - I just wear whatever falls out of the wardrobe in the morning
22. favourite physical feature of the opposite sex - Eyes, hair
22. favourite physical feature of the same sex - I honestly don’t look that closely
23. last CD that you bought - Hmm, can’t remember. It’s been too long
24. favourite place to be - Bed
25. least favourite place - Probably walking to Uni
26. time you wake up in the morning - weekdays 6-9, weekends 9-16
27. if you could play an instrument, what would it be - Piano
28. favourite color - Blue or red
29. do you believe in an afterlife - Nup. Any grand visions of immortality exists solely in the form of genetic information passed onto our offspring
30. how tall are you - Not sure. 6′1, 6′2?
31. current favourite word/saying - I’m not that predictable. Although I do call people “son” a lot
32. favourite book - Can’t choose just one
33. favourite season - Winter
34. one person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to - I’d like to talk to myself as a 5 year old and slap some sense into me. Apart from that, no-one. The past is gone. We’re living in the present
35. where do you want to go - To have a shower and then to bed would be nice…
36. what is your career going to be like - Rich and successful
37. what kind of car will you have - Aston Martin V8 Vantage Le Mans. Not street legal in the US due to noise regulations \m/
38. type a line you remember from any book - “Twelve voices were shouting in anger, and they were all alike. No question, now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again: but already it was impossible to say which was which.” Animal Farm - George Orwell
39. a random lyric: “…the…” some song - some band
40. identify some things surrounding your computer - Printer, water bottle, CD player, jar of pens, some textbooks. Nothing groin-grabbingly fascinating

I know the old “George Dubya is dumb” jokes have been well and truly played out, even by those like that unfunny, instrument-of-propaganda sellout skunk Leno and his ilk who wouldn’t recognise his ignorance and self-righteousness as serious enough to be alarming, but I’d just like to share a few Bush quotes with you I found genuinely unsettling.

“This crusade, this war on terrorism is going to take a while.”

The Freudian slip of the century?

“After all, religion has been around a lot longer than Darwinism.”

“There ought to be limits to freedom.”

Last one:

”I’ve heard the call. I believe God wants me to run for president.”

From CNN.com:

WASHINGTON (CNN) — The cafeteria menus in the three House office buildings changed the name of “french fries” to “freedom fries,” in a culinary rebuke of France stemming from anger over the country’s refusal to support the U.S. position on Iraq.

Ditto for “french toast,” which will be known as “freedom toast.”

The name changes were spearheaded by two Republican lawmakers who held a news conference Tuesday to make the name changes official on the menus.

Across the country, some private restaurants have done the same.

This is pathetic. Utterly pathetic. I’d laugh if I wasn’t so nauseated. I need to shower after reading that.

Cable TV has begun advertising “The Fellowship of the Ring”, which will be starting on one of the movie channels in a few weeks. Just out of curiosity, am I the only person on the planet who found those first two movies to be spectacularly ordinary?

When you take on the task of making a movie adaptation of a book/trilogy, particularly a 20th century classic, you automatically adhere to an unwritten covenant which states that you must remain as faithful as possible to the text. Exceptional circumstances arise when the writer/director exploits the vast differences between the written word and audio/visual mediums to enhance upon elements in the book (see David Fincher’s Fight Club), but watering down the narrative to make it more digestible to the average, ignorant movie-goer (see Ridley Scott’s Hannibal, or rather, read Thomas Harris’ version instead) is unforgiveable. If you haven’t seen the movie yet, let me save you the trouble by summarising in neat, sequential format.

I apologise to the 2 people who view my blog (including myself), but just bear with me while I settle back into the Uni schedule and I’ll be back with more of my witty, cynical, yet inane banter. Deal? Up at 6am tomorrow for my 8am start. At least I’ve decided to catch the train instead of driving everyday, contemplating the traffic made it depressing to even get up in the morning.

Train = Good.

1. What is your favourite type of literature to read (magazine, newspaper, novels, nonfiction, poetry, etc)?
Books, of course. Since when do magazines and newspapers count as “literature”? Anyway, poetry is OK in small doses, but I’m sometimes turned off by the fact that roughly 90% of it is pure wank.

2. What is your favourite novel?
Hmm… don’t you DARE make me choose just one. Ulysses (but you have to be in just the right mood), Catch 22, The Caine Mutiny, 1984, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. That’ll do for a reasonable short list. If I invest too much thought into the question then I could go on for another page.