Blog Storm

I’ve mentioned a few times that Prime Minister John Howard was passionately against the idea of the notion of gay marriage. Here’s what he actually said.

“You’re talking here about the survival of the species,”

An adult said this. An adult in charge of a democracy of 20 million persons. Who thinks that granting equal civil rights to around 5% of the population will somehow result in a spiralling vortex of human extinction. An adult. With an education. Our publically mandated leader. Never forget that.

There’s this strange cover of grey smoke-like matter covering the sky and partially obscuring the sun. And it seems to be depositing a strange, viscous liquid. Experimental sampling by direct touch and taste has determined the liquid to be non-poisonous, non-corrosive and pH neutral; most likely water. Water falling from the sky. How odd. Is this a common meteorological occurrence anywhere else? It’s been doing this for over 24 hours now and I’m starting to get a bit worried.

Frankly, I don’t see the problem behind simply calling them “civil unions” or what have you. If it is a matter of upholding the sanctity of “marriage”, which I am for, then why not just call it something else and have the same legalities?
Derek KGB, Atlanta, GA, USA

Hey, Christian brothers and sisters!

Have you seen The Passion of The Christ? I’ve been thinking of seeing The Passion of The Christ. There’s so much hype surrounding The Passion of The Christ I just don’t think I can resist the temptation!

Apparently Mel Gibson’s new movie The Passion of The Christ, starring Jim Caviezel, is really violent! But, like, it’s cleansing Christian violence which reaffirms our faith, so it’s OK! I’ve been checking The Passion of The Christ’s official site.

Foreign Minister Alexander Downer has accused Opposition leader Mark Latham of having a confused position on Australia’s military relationship with the United States…

…”I think a good politician is somebody who stands very clearly for things and in his case I have no idea what he stands for.”

Mr Latham says he supports the joint defence facility at Pine Gap in the Northern Territory, which he visited yesterday.

But Mr Latham says he opposes the Howard Government’s decision to join the US in developing its missile defence system, known as ‘Son of Star Wars’.

…”I find it very hard to understand what’s he’s about,” Mr Downer said.

A new dirty tricks campaign to embarrass the Democratic front runner, John Kerry, backfired ignominiously yesterday when it emerged that a widely circulated photograph of a protest against the Vietnam war was a crude forgery.
The photograph, falsely credited to Associated Press, combined two separate images to make it appear as if Mr Kerry shared a stage at an anti-war rally in the early 1970s with the actress, Jane Fonda.

Ms Fonda is reviled by many Vietnam vets for her wartime visit to Hanoi, and the image was widely aired over the internet by a fringe group of Vietnam veterans who have pursued a vendetta against Mr Kerry for years…

Bittersweet little ditty. I found myself nodding in affectionate recognition basically all the way through it. All that teenage angsty stuff and pubescent existential meaninglessness. Yep. I was apprehensive though, because it was one of several movies I was told would be “right up my alley” (some other examples include The Royal Tenenbaums and Donnie Darko if you want a general indication of my track record in that regard). Of course, in addition to being awkwardly-written, shallowly-characterised, gratuitous pieces of shit, they didn’t have Thora or Scarlett in the cast. Or Scarlett. Did I mention Scarlett? When she mentioned the “miracle of masturbation”, I nearly fell off the couch. Lordy.

*slap*

I’ll be fine. Buscemi bless…

Want to fit into that little black dress in time for that date? Want to be able to walk up that hill without being puffed? OK, here it is. The last diet advice you’ll ever need. For the sake of brevity (and future possible copyright enforcement), call it the Edo Diet. It’s never failed. Two easy steps. Read each word carefully and recite it over and over again three times a day. Your life is about to change. Ready?

1. EXERCISE REGULARLY.

Notice how there are very few obese marathon runners? Believe it or not, it’s no coincidence. Not sure how much to exercise? Here’s a guide. Expend more energy than you ingest. I know, it sounds crazy, but it seems to work. Isn’t the human body an enigma??

Well, belated birthday. I’m sure he understands that I’ve had other thing on my mind the past few days.

I have this gorgeous paperback Penguin first edition which must be at least 50 years old. The paper is tinged yellow and it smells like musty pepper, but it’s still in near-perfect condition. I should read it again; I haven’t since high school.

My father isn’t better. He’s conscious, but confused and forgetful, indicating possible brain damage. Just how temporary or permanent this state is still isn’t clear. He keeps making up stories to cover up for memory gaps (confabulation), and yet seems to have convinced himself that his problems are far less serious than the diagnoses suggest. At least some things never change.

My father’s having a fit and he’s unable to breathe. See, my father is a diabetic. Let me back that up. My father is a heavily-smoking, overweight, borderline clinically depressed diabetic with sleep apnoea who periodically binge drinks to help him deal with his problems. OK, I thought, hypoglycaemic seizure, probably exacerbated because he went to the pub yesterday afternoon. It’s not uncommon, but dad takes painstaking care, bordering on obsessive-compulsive, regarding his insulin dosage, and this is the most serious reaction he’s ever had.

We’re all stylesheets and fonts and pouty photoshopped jpegs and winamp playlists and cryptic lyric snippets and aesthetically-pleasing non-sequiturs. We’re all smilies and lols and gifs and quotes and archives and templates. We’re all self-effacing rambling and bloviated philosophising and pop-culture references and books and albums. We’re all links and puns and quizzes and double-entendres and poetry and monologues and soliloquies and autobiographies. We’re all COMs and NETs and ORGs and UKs and AUs. We’re all brilliant and zany and silly and complex and stubborn and brooding and tempestuous and fascinating and professional and enigmatic. We’re all randomness and indignation and nihilism and optimism and boredom and introspection and procrastination.

What are we looking for? Who are we waiting for?

Who the hell has the balls, the unmitigated gall, to lower exhorbitant MP, federal judge and Governor-General superannuation packages, which currently sit at nearly eight times the national average for those who actually earn it, and irrespective of age? After little Johnny Howard retires (which will hopefully be directly related to the Federal election results), he stands to earn $200,000 annually until he dies. Someone explain to me why that’s necessary. Even Stan Zemanek (think a kind of Australian Rush Limbaugh (or better yet, don’t)) was heaping cautious praise on Latham for putting the policy forward. Why the fuck do politicians need 6-figure salaries anyway? Isn’t a modest salary plus travel allowances and corporate kickbacks enough? Oh, right, because they’re the ones who write their own wage increases into legislation.

Getting it right in Iraq

(some tweaking for aesthetic purposes. Coz, you know, I’m anal-retentive)

A great cloud hangs over public broadcasting in Britain since Lord Hutton’s trial and sentencing of the BBC. Yet for the journalist at the centre of the fuss, Andrew Gilligan, it’s been a great week, as more evidence emerged that his story was essentially correct. It went to air in May last year some weeks after the fall of Baghdad.