Atkins Diet? No no no…
Want to fit into that little black dress in time for that date? Want to be able to walk up that hill without being puffed? OK, here it is. The last diet advice you’ll ever need. For the sake of brevity (and future possible copyright enforcement), call it the Edo Diet. It’s never failed. Two easy steps. Read each word carefully and recite it over and over again three times a day. Your life is about to change. Ready?
1. EXERCISE REGULARLY.
Notice how there are very few obese marathon runners? Believe it or not, it’s no coincidence. Not sure how much to exercise? Here’s a guide. Expend more energy than you ingest. I know, it sounds crazy, but it seems to work. Isn’t the human body an enigma??
Here’s the biggie. I’m going to need a megaphone for this one.
2. EAT LESS!!!!!
It’s that simple. You don’t need a fucking PhD in biochemistry to understand it, either. Lack the discipline? Do you itch for that bit of chocolate between each meal? Would you rather sit on the couch all day eating chips? Couldn’t be bothered being slightly active every day? Looking for a quick fix over hard work? Then don’t bother. I should stretch this out to 200 pages and publish it. I’d be a millionaire. But don’t fall for this high protein-low carbohydrate recipe horseshit, because when, in mid-afternoon, your blood glucose falls to dangerously low levels, affecting your coordination and concentration and causing you to wander over the middle of the road in front of my car travelling in the opposite direction, I’m not going to be very happy.
