Amusing

An Egyptian lawyer said today he was planning to sue the world’s Jews for “plundering” gold during the Exodus from Pharaonic Egypt thousands of years ago, based on information in the Bible. Nabil Hilmi, Dean of the Faculty of Law at Egypt’s al-Zaqaziq University, said the legal basis for the case was under study by [...]

Continue Reading Egyptian lawyer to sue Jews for biblical ‘plunder’

A couple of hairs near the centre of my right eyebrow have started growing slightly longer and curling up towards my forehead, indicating the possible presence of a dominant Sir Robert Menzies eyebrow gene. I’m wondering whether to tweeze, snip or let nature take its course. Perhaps I’ll let it go when I hit 50 [...]

Continue Reading Phunny ol’ phenotypes

If I leave rambling, snappy, incomprehensible, or all of the above comments on your blog, do me a favour and just ignore me. I think my cigarette abstinance has given me a case of acute insomnia, and as such I cannot legally be held responsible for my actions. I don’t wish to alarm anyone, but [...]

Continue Reading Disclaimer

We’re all stylesheets and fonts and pouty photoshopped jpegs and winamp playlists and cryptic lyric snippets and aesthetically-pleasing non-sequiturs. We’re all smilies and lols and gifs and quotes and archives and templates. We’re all self-effacing rambling and bloviated philosophising and pop-culture references and books and albums. We’re all links and puns and quizzes and double-entendres [...]

Continue Reading Homo blogiens

1. What is the middle name of the first person you ever slept with? Shit, good question. I have no idea if she even HAS a middle-name, even though I knew her since primary school. Oops? 2. What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color? These red jockey things, nothing special. I don’t [...]

Continue Reading Still too hot to think straight…

And why do I have to cater for them? Why don’t they cater for me? And why are they permitted to have so much of an impact on my life? Does that seem fair to anyone else? I don’t interrupt them while they dribble and slobber and gibber and strut around with their chins out, [...]

Continue Reading Why am I forced to deal with morons on a daily basis?

1. describe the last dream you had (or the last one you can remember) I’m really bad with dreams, I have them often but the only ones I remember are either far too abstract to describe coherently, mainly concerned with sex or are these really cool, long, epic suspense-thriller dreams which usually involve me uncovering [...]

Continue Reading Fun questions

Tee-hee-hee… Oh, I don’t know what to write. Vague allegories regarding idiots who may or may not have impacted my life in a negative way. Sport. More sport. Even vaguer rants about some shit on television. It’s too much I say! Too much! Who do you think I am, Bored? I need inspiration. *dramatic sigh*

Continue Reading “Thrust your head into the public street, to gaze on Christian fools with varnish’d faces.”

I remember writing something similar when a barrage of Bible quotes were once used against me (normally I don’t even bother, but I was feeling particularly Bibliophilic at the time). The authorship is probably dated, but it happens to coincide with Bush’s reiteration of the grossly unconstitutional (being based purely upon religious bigotry as well [...]

Continue Reading Amusing email

From CNN.com: WASHINGTON (CNN) — The cafeteria menus in the three House office buildings changed the name of “french fries” to “freedom fries,” in a culinary rebuke of France stemming from anger over the country’s refusal to support the U.S. position on Iraq. Ditto for “french toast,” which will be known as “freedom toast.” The [...]

Continue Reading I hope this is some sort of sick joke