Amusing

Too late!

[What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?]
Nothing particularly unique I can remember off the top of my head, I’m afraid. This wasn’t exactly a trailblazing year for firsts.

[Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?]
I don’t do that shit.

[Did anyone close to you give birth?]
Yes! My auntie. Baby cousins are excellent, even if they live in another state, and cause your paternal instincts to start itching uncontrollably when they visit.

[Did anyone close to you die?]
A few relatively distant family members, but nobody I knew very well. I suppose you could count my cat Charlie.

Edo is a funny gentle look at
Edo is fake
Edo is great with others
Edo is hot
Edo is mad about motorbikes
Edo is such a star
Edo is dumb
Edo is very big and strong
Edo is dead magazine
Edo is leaving
Edo is gay
Edo is mending his broken heart
Edo is dead article
Edo is dead is not dead
Edo is a celebration where people bring offerings to the monks
Edo is ejaculating on the hot opened vagina of a prostitute with a big sexy tits (Wha… that was ages ago…)
Edo is a domesticon *laughs at Edo*
Edo is an offspring born of parental pride
Edo is 6ft 1 inches tall (Uncanny)
Edo is bullied by an older boy
Edo is preaching at a church in a village
Edo is sizzling
Edo is having difficulty with vowel sounds
Edo is your god
Edo is ’sexiest man alive’
Edo is a desperate man who craves the one thing that he can’t seem to find
Edo is jesus
Edo is sooooooooooo sweet that i want to crap my pants
Edo is a fake id after this post

Tee-hee-hee…

Oh, I don’t know what to write. Vague allegories regarding idiots who may or may not have impacted my life in a negative way. Sport. More sport. Even vaguer rants about some shit on television. It’s too much I say! Too much! Who do you think I am, Bored? I need inspiration. *dramatic sigh*

And why do I have to cater for them? Why don’t they cater for me? And why are they permitted to have so much of an impact on my life? Does that seem fair to anyone else? I don’t interrupt them while they dribble and slobber and gibber and strut around with their chins out, earnestly indulging in their impotent little power struggles and pretending they’re not mere evolutionary dregs clinging desperately to the arsehole of society, contemplating meaningless bullshit and working menial jobs ten years after they’re dead. Halfwits. Fucking halfwits. Why can’t they just leave me alone?

An Egyptian lawyer said today he was planning to sue the world’s Jews for “plundering” gold during the Exodus from Pharaonic Egypt thousands of years ago, based on information in the Bible.

Nabil Hilmi, Dean of the Faculty of Law at Egypt’s al-Zaqaziq University, said the legal basis for the case was under study by a group of lawyers in Egypt and Europe.

“This is serious, and should not be misread as being political against any race. We are just investigating if a debt is owed,” Hilmi told Reuters in a telephone interview.

The relevant passage from the Bible, Exodus 12 verses 35 to 36 reads: “The Israelites had done as Moses told them; they had asked the Egyptians for jewellery of silver and gold, and for clothing … And so they plundered the Egyptians.”

Tags: Bible

1. describe the last dream you had (or the last one you can remember) I’m really bad with dreams, I have them often but the only ones I remember are either far too abstract to describe coherently, mainly concerned with sex or are these really cool, long, epic suspense-thriller dreams which usually involve me uncovering this conspiracy and leading a secret rebellion against it (Freud would say this symbolises some subconscious paranoia, but I think it has more to do with my repressed imagination (I used to write a lot of stories when I was younger, but I lost interest in high school)). I can actually wake up during the night, and go back to sleep and the dream continues where it left off. They’re fucking awesome, but extremely rare. I didn’t answer the question, did I?

Plans by a New York artist to stage a naked photo session of about 300 people in a small town in Portugal have found little support from the local Roman Catholic priest, the Jornal de Noticias newspaper reported.

Eleuterio Pais, a priest in the northern town of Santa Maria da Feira, near Porto, said the idea “had nothing to do with art”.

The plan is the brainchild of American photographer Spencer Tunick, who plans to shoot his models on Saturday as part of his world tour Nude Adrift, which has led him to photograph groups of unclothed people in cities as far apart as Barcelona, Buenos Aires, Montreal, Sao Paulo, Paris and Vienna.

Tags: Roman

“Flashmobbing” has arrived in New Zealand – reportedly leaving a city burger bar with a load of unwanted food to throw away.

The “flashmob” phenomenon, which is sweeping the United States and Europe, uses the internet and text messages on mobile phones to organise crowds that appear suddenly, perform prearranged mass acts and disperse as just as quickly.

About 200 people piled into Burger King in Auckland’s Queen Street and mooed like cows at lunchtime, the New Zealand Herald said, reporting the country’s first “flashmob”.

As they arrived, staff quickly prepared 100 buns, 10 chickens, eight baskets of fries and four trays of meat patties, but nobody ordered anything.

If I leave rambling, snappy, incomprehensible, or all of the above comments on your blog, do me a favour and just ignore me. I think my cigarette abstinance has given me a case of acute insomnia, and as such I cannot legally be held responsible for my actions. I don’t wish to alarm anyone, but I think nicotine may be addictive. I’ll continue the research.

You explain to them that your car doesn’t have power steering like she’s used to in mum’s car, but does that make a difference? You inform them that your brake is far more responsive than the bass pedal in mum’s car, but does that change a thing? Hey, I’m not being unfair, I remember what it was like to have this massive monstrosity which seemed milliseconds from being completely out of your control, and I mounted the gutter once or twice, but fuck, I never ACCELERATED WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO BRAKE. “OK, now turn right here. Remember, you have to put some effort into it, you can’t just zip around like in the station-wagon. Turn turn turn brake brake BRAKE!!” KA-THUD. Funny looks from the old crones in the white 4-wheel drive behind us as they squeeze past. Open the door, check the front passenger side tyre for damage, none present. “OK, now SLOWLY turn off the gutter, I don’t want to lose a hubcap as well.” We get home without incident. It’s only later on that I realise I have to have the steering wheel at about 35 degrees to keep the car straight. Bugger. And it’s a real bastard because wheel and steering alignment isn’t something you can do manually, well not legally anyway. Oh well, I’ll get my parents to cough up the money to pay for it. And I now have a water-tight argument for saying “No, you’re not driving my car anymore.”

I know the old “George Dubya is dumb” jokes have been well and truly played out, even by those like that unfunny, instrument-of-propaganda sellout skunk Leno and his ilk who wouldn’t recognise his ignorance and self-righteousness as serious enough to be alarming, but I’d just like to share a few Bush quotes with you I found genuinely unsettling.

“This crusade, this war on terrorism is going to take a while.”

The Freudian slip of the century?

“After all, religion has been around a lot longer than Darwinism.”

“There ought to be limits to freedom.”

Last one:

”I’ve heard the call. I believe God wants me to run for president.”

From CNN.com:

WASHINGTON (CNN) — The cafeteria menus in the three House office buildings changed the name of “french fries” to “freedom fries,” in a culinary rebuke of France stemming from anger over the country’s refusal to support the U.S. position on Iraq.

Ditto for “french toast,” which will be known as “freedom toast.”

The name changes were spearheaded by two Republican lawmakers who held a news conference Tuesday to make the name changes official on the menus.

Across the country, some private restaurants have done the same.

This is pathetic. Utterly pathetic. I’d laugh if I wasn’t so nauseated. I need to shower after reading that.