Debunking the National IQ Test©
One of the most insidious forces of evil in the universe since Anthony Robins visits our airwaves once again next week (interestingly only 6 months after the last stupid fucking pointless one). I speak of course about the syndicated “National IQ Test”, which I’m led to believe has swept the globe in the past 12 months, spawned by the mind of a creative feeble who, by all intents and purposes, in any fair society should’ve starved to death years ago, in a wave of success predicated upon the artificial expansion of the egos of the Moronic Majority into actually believing that they have something useful to contribute to society. Don’t be fooled. Underlying network television’s lust with derivative and subversive reconstitutions of “interactive reality shows” such as “Pop/American/Australian/Columbian/Cypriot/etc Idol” “Who Wants To Pay Some Millionaires?” is a proven ratio of Effort to Revenue which would make any network executive ejaculate with glee. Here’s how it all works. The network which has won the bid to own the rights of the concept (in this case, Packer’s Nine Network) gets in contact with a major mobile telecommunications carrier and strikes a cooperative deal in which the corporation provides a phone number in return for the receipt of a significant percentage of the text message revenue. The network further profits from the sale of the magazine also required to participate (some shitty little rag no doubt owned and operated by a subsidiary of the same media company), in addition to advertising revenue overinflated by the hype which attracts millions of idiot consumers like moths to a flame. So at the end of the day, Packer and Telstra have a few extra hundreds of thousands of dollars in their Swiss bank accounts, morons are slightly poorer and as stupid as they ever were, and television has slipped another creatively-bankrupt piece of shit past us. And I’m assuming that they’re not subtle enough to realise that allowing oneself to become involved in a mind-numbing, bank account-sapping activity masquerading as an “IQ test” gives you an automatic fail in some sort of catch-22 scenario.
Did that make sense at all? Being extremely drunk denotes that I’m left to rely solely upon objectivity to interpret what the fuck I’m ranting on about…
